Title: The Call of the Wild and Free: Reclaiming Wonder in Your Child’s Education
Author: Ainsley Arment
Publication Year: 2019
Website: https://www.bewildandfree.org/
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Review

I thoroughly enjoyed this book cover to cover (figuratively speaking). I actually listened to the audiobook, but I enjoyed it so much that I am tempted to buy the hardcover. It looks like it is gorgeous. If I weren’t so frugal, I would have ordered it already, but I will probably wait and keep this one on my birthday wish list.

I resonated so completely with everything the author said. We even had similar experiences of sending our firstborns to preschool and loving the child-centered, gentle environments. We both have spent a lot of time researching the many different homeschooling styles. Ultimately, we both opted to bring our kids home, not because we had a problem with public school, but because we wanted our kids to have time to enjoy their childhoods.

Before reading this book, if someone would have asked me how we structured our day, I probably would have said something like, “Well, we read A LOT of books, and I make sure we spend at least an hour or two outside every day. We play games and enjoy life as a family learning about subjects like art, music, literature, science, and history together. It’s important to me that my kids have a lot of unstructured free time to pursue their own interests. On top of that, I try to squeeze in a little school work once in awhile.”

Even hearing myself say it, I know it sounds pretty weak. Even though I have given a lot of thought to how I homeschool and my approach is much more intentional than I’m sure it appears to an outsider, I feel completely validated after reading this book. Not only does it explain my philosophy so perfectly, but it has the science to back up these choices. It debunks many of the myths that surround homeschooling with solid evidence.

At some point, I will definitely own this book. I highly recommend it to anyone who is thinking about homeschooling and even those that are deep in the trenches.

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Review: I thought this was book was amazing. I almost never buy a book I’ve already read, but I liked it so much, I wanted to have a copy to lend and for reference. I even read big sections of it out loud to my husband in the car. I love the writing style and I really feel like the author understands what it’s like to be in the midst of parenting, having the best of intentions, but dealing with your own frustration on a daily basis. She is not afraid to tell me all the things I’m doing wrong with my kids, while at the same time sending the clear message: I can do better.

Rather than being condescending, I found the author encouraging and inspiring. After reading this book, I’m determined to behave differently in a wide variety of situations. Now and then, whenever I get into a conflict with one of my kids (mainly my oldest), re-reading sections of this book can help me to find the calm I need to handle the situation effectively without losing my temper. This is the #1 book I recommend to other parents.

This book is based on three guiding principles: Regulate Yourself, Foster Connection, and Coach, Not Control. The main idea, as I see it, is that when your child is misbehaving or having a meltdown, instead of doing all the things that come naturally like yelling/punishing/threatening, you should 1) hold it together yourself and 2) show your kid love. No matter what. Afterward, when everything is calm, you can 3) deal with the issue in a respectful way that shows the kid that you are on his side.

The author also makes a big point of saying that kids have big emotions that they can’t handle and it is our job as parents to teach them to accept and deal with their feelings, not repress them. If we, as parents, lose it when we get frustrated, how can we expect kids to handle their big emotions? Also, the author asserts that any misbehavior is a sign of not feeling connected to us. Connected kids want to behave.

My husband and I have spent the last few days implementing this philosophy with surprisingly successful results. When son tripped, but didn’t sustain any injuries, he started crying as he usually does. Normally I would give him a quick hug and basically tell him to walk it off, which would result in him being whiney for several minutes afterward. This time I just held him while he cried. My husband came over to try and quiet him, but I told him I was doing an experiment, so he left us alone. He cried for about 1 minute and then said he wanted to go play.

After a few days of making a point to be more compassionate, he recently stopped his meltdown after 4 cries, basically mid-wail. Instead of waiting for us to tell him to stop crying, as he would in the past, it was as if he thought to himself, “Why am I doing this?” and stopped on his own. It was amazing. He still gets upset about problems which seem pretty minor to me, however, by making a point to stay calm and be understanding and accepting of his feelings and emotions, he has been incredibly happy and cooperative over the past few days and fairly quick to get over his disappointments and frustrations. (Personal Rating: 10/10)

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Review: When I bought this book, I honestly thought it was going to be about infant massage based on the title. It turns out this book has almost nothing to do with infant massage, but instead is the most thorough, well-written, data supported, convincing book on parenting at infant that I have read. While the author doesn’t focus on “attachment parenting” as a parenting style, she advocates many of the same tenets of attachment parenting, extolling the benefits of touching, holding, baby-wearing, nursing, co-sleeping, etc.

The author supports these and other forms of intimacy between parent and child based on an examination of cross-cultural, multi-generational evidence as well as formally conducted studies and experiments. A word of caution is that, while fairly easy reading, this book is dense. I generally finish books in two or three days. This one took me the better part of two weeks, party due to the length, and partly because it is so packed with details that after reading a chapter or two, one feels the need to put it down for awhile to digest all the information.(Personal Rating: 10/10)

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Review: Unlike my original assumption, this is not a book that teaches one how to be better at reading stories aloud. The author does have some pointers, but they are a very, very small portion of what this book’s content. What this book excels at is presenting a convincing, study-driven argument for why reading (and exchange of words in any form) is so important in the lives of children.

However, everyone knows reading to children is good. This book goes one step further and makes several points which are slightly more controversial, such as: 1) You should make your kids read if they won’t. 2) You should continue reading to your children long after they learn how to read. 3) It is extremely important that dads and other male role models be involved in the reading aloud process and be viewed reading for pleasure.

Trelease also makes the point that the reason US children are behind when it comes to reading, writing, and vocabulary is primarily the fault of the parent and not the schools. He shows through numerous studies that rather than drilling kids on letters and sounds, parents and teachers should be instilling a love of reading (motivation) in the children through lots and lots of sharing of stories.

Finally, the book contains several book lists of good read-aloud stories in the appendix along with appropriate listener age ranges, which is very handy. I think every parent should have a copy of this book. (Personal Rating: 10/10)

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